Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
