He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
