do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
