my vag is so smooth its legendary
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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