I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize