Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
