Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i believe in u and ur pee
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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