Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
