Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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