Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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