Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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