i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think my vagina is haunted
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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