My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
