Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
