Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
