I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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