my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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