Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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