There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
