Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
