I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
