Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
