the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
