I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize