I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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