It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
