You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
