yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
