I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...