After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
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My ATM looks so different sober.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
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Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.