I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dating After Heartbreak
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
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Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something