What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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