I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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