When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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