i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
