Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
