That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So vagazzling was a success
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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