So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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