the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize