remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
