I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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