my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
