I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
