Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Randomize
