R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
