even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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