one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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