What a fucking waste of an outfit
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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