I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Buhtt sex?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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