how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
