you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
