so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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