I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
