I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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