also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
