weddingsv make me drug and hornr
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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