I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
