hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
