i permit you to call me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize