Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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