Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
