Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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