cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
