oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
